“When we communicate feelings, we are vulnerable, and people around us are not always well-trained and sensitive to listen to feelings without taking them personally or explaining them away or correcting them. It’s still worth the risk, for without emotional honesty, there is very little self-acceptance, acceptance of others or growth.” – Lynn Lott
Emotional honesty is something that is often not celebrated in groups. In the United States, there is an assumption that a society, community, or group functions better when everyone is happy, smiling, and positive, or at least on the same plane emotionally. Sometimes it seems the only “allowable” emotion other than happiness is anger / frustration. Why is this?
The underlying reality is that our moods change, and we can learn to respect that this is natural as we are reacting and processing the events around us. It’s not only okay to feel your feelings, it’s essential to healthy living.
To be emotionally honest is to be able to recognize and name your own feelings first, then to learn to be honest with yourself and others about how you are feeling. When we take off our socially polite masks, we allow true connection to happen. Of course, not everyone is prepared for this — we often experience emotions being brushed aside or overlooked in the interest of keeping things positive, solving a problem, or giving advice.
Appreciating emotional honesty in others is also a challenging skill. It requires courage and willingness to sit in discomfort. It requires that we hold back on advice and simply witnessing another person’s truth. This is a healing practice.
Psychologically speaking, we can learn to pause and allow for true emotions to arise, be felt, and be processed. We process emotions in our body, but we can notice and name them in our mind. This is the first step to emotional honesty.
If attempting emotional honesty feels like it’s simply too much to handle, we can seek help — through therapy and facilitated group work, we can learn to get real.
Resources to read:
HoloBeing’s Fellowship Circle supports holistic businesses owners of all kinds – especially healer-types – to find their business strengths and the business growth strategies that resonate deeply with their being. We support you through exploring your business and money light and shadow so that you can move past deep-seated blocks and grow the business and life that you are capable of. Read more about the one-of-a-kind Fellowship Circle here, the benefits of our group and how you can join.